I hate tomorrow

Monday July 8, 2013 has come and gone. My baby girl sleeping peacefully next to me at our home. A poor family my heart aches for began their difficult journey when their baby with was born last week with hypo plastic left heart syndrome.  My husband concidered it a compliment that the surgeon could ask to put off Ellcy's procedure so he could operate on this new baby. What a blessing that our little sweetheart is doing so well that that was even an option. So.....why do I hate tomorrow?  Because it is THE day, the day we've known was coming yet could almost pretend it was only a nightmare. Tomorrow is surgery.

Ellcy's "other" mom, or 2nd mom, Devynn spent the afternoon with Ellcy and I at Primary Childrens while Ellcy got xrayed and EKGed and poked. All was well until the poking for a blood sample. She does NOT approve of the taking of her blood. But now she is tagged and disinfected and ready for surgery.....I wish I could say the same. I'm not tagged, I'm not disinfected and I'm certainly not ready. Oh sure, our bags are packed, I've lined up a babysitter for Spark (or Sparkle if it turns out the Beta is a girl) and Henry (or Custard or Guster, depending on who you ask), the kids have a ride so they can join us later after surgery is complete and stay in a hotel, the house is clean, the garden is being taken care of, the laundry is kindof sortof done....but prepared? I think not, I think never. However, atleast I know this go around that I'm not prepared and it will be harder than I can imagine but it's gonna happen and it's all going to be ok.

I know Ellcy Ava Burnham is being watched over and I know the angels will be with her in her operating room tomorrow just as she was promised in her blessing today. I have felt weak and at my breaking point for the last couple of days but today my pleadings to my Father were answered and I was able to find peace. So very many wonderful faithfilled people are praying in her behalf and on the behalf of my sweet family, for that I will be FOREVER humbly grateful.

So, though I hate you Mr. Tomorrow,  I will face you head on with many tears, a renewed supply of hope, and a heart bursting with love.....so there, take that!